ALSO i drafted this in my notes app and didn't realize that Sophia's last name had autocorrected from Chunn to Chin, I've corrected it here but I'm sorry it's wrong in the email version!! ugh!! 😩
Very excited for the new book, since I loved the first 2. As a musician, I love that a mc shares my passion and can't wait to hear about how they were disgraced lol.
I hope your mental health issues are easing up. If they're chemical imbalances, I hope you find the perfect cocktail. My own troubles are simple daily dread as I watch my country go down in flames, and I am not alone in this.
If my social security gets axed, I will just have to steal this book. Because life without escapism is not an option.
I need to reiterate how much I love this cover and how much I'm looking forward to reading this. And also *high five* from the drafting while not under contract club. It's very freeing.
So excited about this book, and thanks for sharing how you were feeling. It's so important that we take care of ourselves and the mental health of a creative life is no joke!
It’s super hard for anyone to detach ourselves from our work and be able to sit with criticism (of all spectrums), we put our heart and soul into things whether it’s a cake or a book or even some snappy quip. So it’s hard to take when people have a perspective on it. So I’m curious, how have you managed to find cultivate a healthy detachment? Hot tips appreciated!
PS love the new cover. I think the matching thing isn’t an issue, it’s about the right cover for that specific book.
whew that’s a big question, haha!! i don’t think i’m necessarily an expert— i’m sure there will still be many times when i feel neither detached nor healthy. i have always been extremely sensitive & also relied a lot on external validation to tell me how i should feel about my own work, which is a very bad combination when it becomes available to a mass audience lol. a few things i’m trying to be mindful of:
- who is the criticism coming from? do i care about them? my husband summed it up perfectly with “not everyone’s opinion needs to have meaning in your life,” which i repeat to myself pretty much daily lol. it’s not sustainable to let my day be ruined by every random person with an instagram or goodreads account, because then i would never have a good day ever again! if i wouldn’t take their advice, i don’t have to take their criticism!
- the volume can also be overwhelming. when i see negative feedback about my work every day, even if the individual criticisms are mild, it can easily snowball into feeling like i objectively suck and should just give up. i try to limit my exposure to random feedback as much as possible now- i have my tags turned off on instagram, and i don’t seek out my reviews anywhere else. once a book is available to readers i can’t change anything anyway!
- i’ve accepted that it’s okay if my books are never widely popular or beloved, which in a commercial genre like romance, can feel equivalent to failure. but even if i can't write books that appeal to the majority of romance readers, it doesn’t mean that what i’m doing has no value. this was probably the hardest lesson to internalize!!!
- the book big magic by elizabeth gilbert was super helpful in changing my mindset for many reasons, but one of things she mentions is that the director mike nichols would always talk about his poorly received projects by calling them “interesting” which i’m obsessed with haha. when i fall into a spiral about whatever ways my books didn’t live up to x y or z expectation (internal or external), i’m just like, “hmm, that was interesting!!” and try to move on to the next thing, hahaha.
- for writing books in particular, it’s important to separate the process of writing the books from the business of publishing them. i try to remind myself the only things in my control are having fun, writing things that challenge me, and creating something that feels good and honest to me in that moment. everything else is out of my hands!! there's also a loooong stretch of time between finishing a book and when it's available to read, so i've been trying to savor this period & be proud of myself before all the outside voices come in.
(i also want to add the disclaimer that keeping my day job has been hugely important!! if my ability to pay my bills hinged on whether or not i kept publishing books, i would probably have an even harder time with all of this lol)
sorry that was extremely long hahaha but i hope there are some helpful takeaways somewhere in there!! ❤️❤️❤️
I can't wait to read this new book, excited to feature and review when review copies are available. I loved your first two books, I recommend them all of the time!
ALSO i drafted this in my notes app and didn't realize that Sophia's last name had autocorrected from Chunn to Chin, I've corrected it here but I'm sorry it's wrong in the email version!! ugh!! 😩
Very excited for the new book, since I loved the first 2. As a musician, I love that a mc shares my passion and can't wait to hear about how they were disgraced lol.
I hope your mental health issues are easing up. If they're chemical imbalances, I hope you find the perfect cocktail. My own troubles are simple daily dread as I watch my country go down in flames, and I am not alone in this.
If my social security gets axed, I will just have to steal this book. Because life without escapism is not an option.
thank you bo! ❤️
I need to reiterate how much I love this cover and how much I'm looking forward to reading this. And also *high five* from the drafting while not under contract club. It's very freeing.
thank you regina!! and it's true, for some of us the safety of having a contract is overruled by the stress hahaha 💀 but if it works it works!!
THIS COVER IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!
same!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭
So so so freaking excited for this next book!!!!!
thank you susan ily!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
So excited about this book, and thanks for sharing how you were feeling. It's so important that we take care of ourselves and the mental health of a creative life is no joke!
thank you gina! 🥹❤️❤️
It’s super hard for anyone to detach ourselves from our work and be able to sit with criticism (of all spectrums), we put our heart and soul into things whether it’s a cake or a book or even some snappy quip. So it’s hard to take when people have a perspective on it. So I’m curious, how have you managed to find cultivate a healthy detachment? Hot tips appreciated!
PS love the new cover. I think the matching thing isn’t an issue, it’s about the right cover for that specific book.
whew that’s a big question, haha!! i don’t think i’m necessarily an expert— i’m sure there will still be many times when i feel neither detached nor healthy. i have always been extremely sensitive & also relied a lot on external validation to tell me how i should feel about my own work, which is a very bad combination when it becomes available to a mass audience lol. a few things i’m trying to be mindful of:
- who is the criticism coming from? do i care about them? my husband summed it up perfectly with “not everyone’s opinion needs to have meaning in your life,” which i repeat to myself pretty much daily lol. it’s not sustainable to let my day be ruined by every random person with an instagram or goodreads account, because then i would never have a good day ever again! if i wouldn’t take their advice, i don’t have to take their criticism!
- the volume can also be overwhelming. when i see negative feedback about my work every day, even if the individual criticisms are mild, it can easily snowball into feeling like i objectively suck and should just give up. i try to limit my exposure to random feedback as much as possible now- i have my tags turned off on instagram, and i don’t seek out my reviews anywhere else. once a book is available to readers i can’t change anything anyway!
- i’ve accepted that it’s okay if my books are never widely popular or beloved, which in a commercial genre like romance, can feel equivalent to failure. but even if i can't write books that appeal to the majority of romance readers, it doesn’t mean that what i’m doing has no value. this was probably the hardest lesson to internalize!!!
- the book big magic by elizabeth gilbert was super helpful in changing my mindset for many reasons, but one of things she mentions is that the director mike nichols would always talk about his poorly received projects by calling them “interesting” which i’m obsessed with haha. when i fall into a spiral about whatever ways my books didn’t live up to x y or z expectation (internal or external), i’m just like, “hmm, that was interesting!!” and try to move on to the next thing, hahaha.
- for writing books in particular, it’s important to separate the process of writing the books from the business of publishing them. i try to remind myself the only things in my control are having fun, writing things that challenge me, and creating something that feels good and honest to me in that moment. everything else is out of my hands!! there's also a loooong stretch of time between finishing a book and when it's available to read, so i've been trying to savor this period & be proud of myself before all the outside voices come in.
(i also want to add the disclaimer that keeping my day job has been hugely important!! if my ability to pay my bills hinged on whether or not i kept publishing books, i would probably have an even harder time with all of this lol)
sorry that was extremely long hahaha but i hope there are some helpful takeaways somewhere in there!! ❤️❤️❤️
and p.s. thank you!! i totally agree!!
Oh I preordered this so fast you have nooooooo idea
😭🥹 thank you emily!!!!!
The cover is sooooo good!! And I already know I am going to love this book! Can’t wait to read it.
thank you mallory!! 💜💜💜
I can't wait to read this new book, excited to feature and review when review copies are available. I loved your first two books, I recommend them all of the time!
thank you so much meghan!! 💕
Ooooh I love this cover and can’t wait to read it!!!
ahh thank you audrey!! 🩷